Teachers are busy. No doubt. There are a million things going on around them at any given time. While trying to live in the moment, they are reflecting on what just happened and thinking about what needs to come next. Being a teacher brings the role of “multitasker” to a whole new level. However, while our jobs may include standards and best practices and getting that next math lesson ready, our entire reason for professional being is for our students, and being aware of our interaction with them is one of our most important duties. Here are five things I think we need to remember when talking to students:
Be Present Oftentimes, we have an undercurrent of a to-do list running through our head at all times which keeps us from actually living in the moment that we’re in. With such busy minds, it can be difficult to remove the thinking that distracts us from what is happening right in front of us. Sometimes, I am thinking about an answer prior to the person even finishing, which diverts me from catching additional information they might be giving me in the conversation. Also, kids have super skills in detecting if someone is paying attention. It’s imperative that we turn our attention to whoever needs us, quiet our minds in order to be in the moment with that person and give them our full attention. Be Empathetic
After school, I asked him if he gave his teacher the present. He said yes, but didn’t look as excited as I was expecting, so I followed up with, “How did she like it?” He told me that he tried to give it to her, but she was busy and told him to put it on her desk, and then never said anything to him about it so he didn’t know if she opened it or not. He was crushed. He never drew another teacher a picture again.
It doesn’t really matter if you’re talking about a 5 year old or 17 year old, they are just kids. They are trying to figure out who they are, which let’s face it, is something that even as adults we can’t seem to get a handle on. Everything that happens to them will shape what they think and what they do in the future. That one interaction, where the teacher wasn’t present, wasn’t remembering that she was dealing with a child, affected my son. She probably doesn’t even know she did it, but her attitude toward him had lasting effects. They’re kids. They’re not adults. They need patience and attention and to feel like you know they’re there. Model Good Communication Skills I don’t think that adults, including myself, really grasp how kids grab onto our words and actions. Even when it doesn’t look like they’re watching, they are still paying attention to everything we do. An old song that reminds me of this is by Harry Chaplin called Cats in the Cradle. Basically, the song is about a dad who doesn’t have time for his son, and in the end the son doesn’t have time for him. While this may be a little dramatic, I guarantee that when students watch us communicate and interact with others, they are taking in how that sounds and what that looks like and recreating it in their own interactions.
Take a moment and think about the communications you had during the day today. Were you present? Were you being an active listener? Did you smile? Nod? Look angry? Bored? I once talked to an assistant superintendent who I swear was thinking about what he was going to have for lunch throughout our entire conversation. Would you want your students communicating in the same fashion you do? Are you modeling the kind of communication you want your students to use?